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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Re: [AlternativeAnswers] Attitude /Self

 

Here's a story that may cheer you up since this person was able to reach out and
be compassionate...

One day, my one-and-a-half year old daughter, Marli, and I were at a café when
she had a very public meltdown. Before that happened, I got a coffee and then we
sat down to share some blueberries that I brought for snack time. When it was
time to leave, Marli wanted to hold the bag of blueberries and I let her.
Unfortunately, before we made it out the door of the crowded café the
blueberries spilled all over the floor. People turned to look.
Marli and I cleaned-up the blueberries together and put them back in their bag.
She wanted to reach back into the bag, grab the blueberries and continue eating
them. I explained that the floor was very dirty. I'm not too nervous about
immune building germs, but that floor was so dirty that I'm pretty sure it was
originally white and not black.
"These aren't good for eating now, baby. We need to throw them away." Rather
than throwing the blueberries away, Marli threw herself on the floor, rolled in
the thick disgustingness and cried. Activity in the café stopped and all eyes
were on us. I felt a little embarrassed, but I did not take it out on her. I
didn't allow my embarrassment or fear of judgment take over. Instead, I tried to
empathize with her big, overwhelming feelings instead.
I didn't tell Marli to stop having her feelings or to "behave." I know that I'm
certainly not capable of accessing my higher, rational brain when I'm flooded,
so I don't expect that from my child.
I've learned that she is soothed by sound, so I used my voice. I knelt down and
I said, "I know, this is hard. You're sad because you were really enjoying the
blueberries. You must be really sad." Marli recovered quickly, otherwise I may
have moved outside out of respect for the other customers.

If you're interested in more people who are compassionate in this way, google "
dr. marshall rosenberg and non violent communication". It's a wonderful way for
people to engage in conversations with one another leaving everyone feeling so
much better...

________________________________
From: sari a <sarisalsa@yahoo.com>
To: AlternativeAnswers@yahoogroups.com
Sent: Sat, September 25, 2010 3:05:30 PM
Subject: [AlternativeAnswers] Attitude /Self

I feel like I don't belong . Like at my job, my home, I really have NO friends
that I would call them that. I don't know why I feel this way. Has anyone felt
this way ? What did you do???

[Non-text portions of this message have been removed]

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